I Yet Live

Phew, life's sure being life. But enough of that.

Delicious ideas are boiling to the surface. I mentioned the idea of a Patreon last time, since it'd allow me to write something purer, something that doesn't have to fit into the Amazon short story mold. I don't know if that'll ever be a reality, but, frankly, I have both more extreme and less extreme things I want to write. Those of you that have been with me a long time, or have read back, may remember how a naga died in The Bodyguard.

That sort of thing is pushing the boundaries very far. But, sometimes, I want to. Exploring objectification to that level.

On the other hand, I want so very much to launch into a series of explorations of a D/s relationship. More of a peek under the hood, I suppose, than what it more often than not turns into. There's only so much you can fit into 5.000 - 10.000 words.

Still, have no fear. The princesses and the breeding aren't going away. I just promised myself that I'd write for me this time, and I do love those kinds of things. They're just not my only loves. In any case, I have a private commission to finish before any of this can be realized, but know that these things will be written when there is time. I want to. Honestly, I wrote for money for a while, and obviously there is still an element of that to it, but even if I can't make money off the above-mentioned ideas, I'm going to write them regardless.

Arisen

Does anyone even still check this blog?

Well, if you do, here I am. It has been a while, and I have private work to catch up on. However, once that's taken care of, I have plans. I will be opening up commissions with a new pricing scheme once the private work is taken care of, and begin writing to publish again.

What I'd like most of all, but likely don't have the audience for, is to open up a Patreon so I could write without the moderation required for Amazon. A small part of me wants to use those writing skills to create a game in the vein of Corruption of Champions or Trials in Tainted Space, which I could potentially use the Patreon for as well.

We'll see, I suppose. For the moment, just hold tight. It's nice to come back to the comments on the prior post.

Edit: And, reading this as well as the prior post, a question struck me: Why should we believe you this time, Ick/Maria?

Well, to be perfectly honest, I need extra money coming in.

What kinks would you like to see me write?

Something I haven't done in the past is ask you guys specifically what you like reading from me. So, I am asking now: What kinks do you like the most from me? Bearing in mind that we are still talking my usual gender pairings.

I've personally observed that stories with princesses seem to get a few more sales on average, and the same seems to hold for stories with cheating. I had plans to combine these two in a 5-part series in the future before the break, but I haven't written any of it yet.

Instead of just charging ahead with my own ideas, I thought I'd at least give the chance for any loyal fans still reading to make their voice heard. Bear in mind that this is not a promise to write whatever is suggested. I will listen, I will consider what's said, and then I will write it if I feel it works.

Feel free to leave a comment on this post, or to send me a mail: nymirrasnest@gmail.com

A brief disclaimer: If you've read last week's post, you know that I will be focusing on finishing up my current outstanding commission, and only then begin to move back into publishing other stuff. This is for when I do, not before.

A Quick Note

I unfortunately continue to be sick, so the story for this week will have to be delayed until Sunday next week. My apologies. The schedule will pick back up as soon as I am well again.

Ever Wondered Why I Don't Write Lesbian Erotica?

If you've read my stuff, certainly my newer stuff, maybe you've spotted that I can't really help but put in the occasional terrible groaner. If you haven't spotted that, either you're acclimatized, or they aren't as terrible as I think.

You know why I don't write lesbian erotica? It's actually not because it doesn't sell well. My general amazon category, transgender, also isn't the biggest seller. I just write it because I love what I write. No, the reason I don't write lesbian erotica is that I'd fall victim EVEN MORE to horrible, horrible... Awesome horrible lines like the above.

In fact, a lot of it would probably just end up being nameswapped Avatar: The Legend of Korra fanfic. Then again, I suppose I could just graft a dick on one of them. Hmm...

Freebie! Princess Sophie

For those of you that might just want the free smut, I'm going to spare you the usually enormous preamble and just give you the URL and code. Keep in mind, though, that you'll need an account with Smashwords. They're not sinister at all, and you can even pick the filetype you want according to preference. You click to buy the title, and then input the code. Anyway:

Link: Princess Sophie
Code: BZ52W

This freebie is available until February the 8th, the date on which Dark Lust 2 will launch. Hopefully it'll tide you over until then. Also, it has just been too long since I've done a freebie in general, so hopefully this'll go some way towards making up for that.

If you should happen to like the book, I always appreciate reviews. But, hey, I also understand that maybe you don't really want to go through that effort. In any case, enjoy. :)

Hey, I Know This

This applies to writing, too. I try to tell myself that what counts is that I keep working on getting better, and that readers enjoy what I write, but it's still inescapable.

With that dose of angst over, let us once again return to looking forward to Sunday! New material! Yaaaay! I'm probably the most excited over this, out of everyone. I really really want to get started up again properly.

Also... Exam-time is over! I'm free! FREE! To write stuff in peace.

Dark Lust: A Sample

Phew. Somehow, this time of year always ends up coming as a surprise, doesn't it? You expect it to be a holiday, a time to relax, but it never really is. It's an inferno of gifts, family, food and traveling. The time to relax, that always ends up being tomorrow. The day no one plans to do anything on.

So here's my new year's gift to you, blog reader. A little something you might lazily spend some of tomorrow on. The first 2000 words of the first part of the upcoming series.

This is from when the story was incomplete, when even the first episode was not done, from before it was proofed or anything. You are seeing the words as they were when I first wrote them. If you should find the passage interesting, keep in mind that the series will start coming out in the latter part of January. I hope you enjoy.

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Sample removed to comply with the Kindle Select terms and agreements. Sorry if you didn't catch it in time! To read samples of my work, you can either utilize Amazon's Look Inside feature, or check back periodically. Samples are typically posted here 4 days before a story is published, and then removed on the day of publication.

The Small Things

If you read my work, you probably know I don't write a lot about small things.

Heyoo.

Okay, but really. After getting back into writing again for realsies, a wonderful thing has started happening again. Ideas. Ideas are happening. They just come trickling, almost no matter what I do. Stories bubble and appear in my mind. It's such a great feeling to have that back.

I hope everyone has a great Tuesday, and enjoys the upcoming holiday times.

Stories. Stories! STORIES!

As I write this, a few days earlier than when it will be released (I have a final project to turn in, don't hate), I'm quite sick. That sucks, but in a way, it's also why I want to do one of the things I'll talk about here.

Story Schedule: In the past, I was on a rather heavy schedule of 1 story a week, plus whatever commission work I had. Some might scoff at that. 1 story a week, pfh. But in the end, everyone functions best at different levels. Along with a bunch of real life trouble, I ended up simply wildly overestimating my own productivity. So... From now on, I will release one story every 2-4 weeks. I'll endeavor to make it every 2 weeks, but at least for now, I have commission work to catch up on, and more importantly, the below.

Story Backlog: I used to have one of these. And then, for various reasons and over time, it evaporated. That, really, was the nail in the coffin. Coupled with me being a binge writer, I quite simply need to place more of an emphasis on having a backlog of stories. Yes, this means that my releases will be slower, but it also means that they will be steady. When life strikes again, like right now where I'm sick, I won't just fall off the edge of the earth. There'll still be a new story at the minimum every month.

So, this is the new thing. The new promise. 1 story from Maria a month, EVERY month. And yeah, sometimes every 2 weeks, when I can. It'll take months to build up a steady backlog, so I'm afraid people will have to be a bit patient until I have that built up.

New Stories

So, in between semi-porny posts and explanations about what I'll do for the future, I thought it might be time to not what I intend to do regarding stories. Right now, I have 5 stories out that aren't in a Futanarium bundle. They will be bundled so that they are, and released some time soon. I'd like to do it before Christmas, but having changed computers between my last release and now, I may or may not need to spend a bunch of time setting template stuff up again, which could delay it.

Following that, I have a fantasy erotica series of 5 parts planned. I will begin releasing this in January, and will release one part every 2 weeks. I'll be upfront about things, since I may as well. That'll be 5 short stories in about 2½ months. Pretty slow release schedule. But behind the scenes, I will be using that time for 3 things. Completing the fantasy erotica series, writing more short stories, and more importantly, fulfilling outstanding commissions. The goal is to write at a level that keeps me sane and publishing, and also gaining time to finish the aforementioned commissions.

#1: Write & Publish parts 1-5 of fantasy series.
#2: Fulfill commission work.
#3: Write more series & short stories.

So, if you're looking for something to give yourself as a gift this year, Futanarium #3 could be it! And if you're some sort of mega-fan who already has all my work, well, at least there'll be new stuff coming in 2015.

On Series & Stand-alones

Last week, I mentioned that I would begin focusing on writing series instead of stand-alone short stories. I'll explain a little more about that today, and also provide a little information on the upcoming series at the end.

So, when I first started writing, there were several factors that kept me away from writing series:

First, having been around some writers that treated writing erotica in a very mercenary way, mirroring stories and generally just focusing on the money to the exclusion of all else, I wanted to move away from that. I saw a series as a cheap way to draw readers in, because humans have a natural need to finish things.

If you've started a series (or just one book), you will want to finish it. Even if it isn't the best thing you've ever read. That made writing series feel manipulative. This is, in the end, hogwash. Not that we want to finish things, but that it's necessarily bad. We just come to care about characters and want to see what happens to them.

Second, I feared that either I or readers would get bored of writing a series, and either or both would end up disappointed. When I instead wrote a large amount of varied stand-alone stories, I tried to appeal to as many subsets of readers as I could, forgetting of course that if they only like one or a few of my stories, I'm doing them a disservice anyway. In some sense.

What actually ended up happening, of course, was that I only wrote on a given series once a month, and therefore had a lot of trouble making them flow naturally. I had to get into the story again all over every time I wrote them.

Third, I felt there was some value in exploring more characters, settings and stories in general. There is, to be sure, but I very often felt hampered by the length that I had to stick to in each story. Multiple stories I've written almost begged, in my mind, for a sequel. And perhaps more. But I moved on. I wanted to appeal to more people. I wanted to never get bored.

What I've learned after considering these opinions is that, well, I was focusing too much on the downsides of series, real or imagined, and not giving myself a chance to see what I could do if I actually focused on a series. There's also the unavoidable fact that readers like series. I don't think there's any shame in writing what readers like. Anything else inevitably leads to useless navel-gazing. So, to conclude: I will be trying out writing series for now. At least for a few months. And if the glove fits, I'll continue. If it doesn't, I'll try something else.

The first series I'll try will be fantasy-erotica with a solid story to go along with it. With fantasy comes magic, and in this world, at least in this particular place and for the people I'll be writing of, magic and the ability to wield it is connected with sex. The story will, as is par for the course with me, be Futa/F. Right now, I have no idea how many installments there'll be. That depends on where the story goes as I write, to some degree. And it depends on reader response.

Flame Off, Flame On

Phew. So, what happened? I'll write a little on the matter for the benefit of those interested.

Right when I was burning the brightest, I flamed out. It was a culmination of a lot of things, I think. Debt, months of pressure, uncertain living conditions... A bunch of stuff. I just caved, and completely shut off the writing side of myself for a good while. And I did this, of course, while I was in the middle of rising. Admittedly July was worse than June, but even so. I was selling an amount of stories a month that amounted to ridiculous (for me). Something tantalizingly close to what I could live off.

I've let down readers and commissioners, and I've also let down myself. I tried to do too much, for too long. Writing became a chore instead of something I loved. Not because I was writing too much, at all, but because of the pressure I was under with real life. It -had- to succeed. And in a lot of respects, it did. But I couldn't quite carry the weight personally.

So, here we are. I have an education to see to for the next year and a half at least. I have a steady living for that time too, at least. I've found the passion for writing I had, but this time, I won't be writing to live, I'll be writing because I love doing it. And when or if I should ever get to live off writing, I won't be starting from nothing.

There won't be weekly stories, at least not for now. It's something I'll re-evaluate every now and again. The next time will likely be after this semester's exams in January. But, for now, my focus is a healthy balance, catching up on commissioned work, and releasing a modest 1 story a month. I should like to release more eventually, but commissioned work will come first.

I stumbled and fell, but rose and dusted myself off again. Hopefully I've taken a few lessons with me from this incident.

1) Commissions will be shut down. I will finish the current work, and will from then on, for the foreseeable future, not take on further work. Perhaps in the future, short work will be a possibility.

2) I will be focusing more on writing series, likely to the near-exclusion of stand-alone work. I'll write a more in-depth blog post on this topic in the near future.

3) Fighting for my financial life is not conducive to a good writing environment. My finances are taken care of for a year and a half, for now, but what the future brings is, of course, hard to tell. In any case, I will supplement with temp work and the like in future rather than madly try to stay purely a writer.

4) Rather than 1 story a week, as said above, I will instead commit to a minimum of 1 story a month. This is likely also something I'll write a separate blog post about.

5) I let my back log of stories dissipate, and didn't have enough writing time to build it back up again. For writing to be sustainable for me, this can't happen. This is the main reason for point 1, and a big contributing reason for 4. I'll write more about this in the same blog post that point 4 will be expanded on.

An Update! At Last!

I posted a little while ago that things might go south. They haven't. Not exactly. Even so, it'll still be another week until I have a fairly regular, scheduled life. I expect to start writing again on the 25th of August. From then on, there'll obviously be a little delay until stuff gets published and, most importantly, commission stuff gets picked up. But, to boil the news down to their core:

Publishing and commission writing should be properly back on track come September.

Thanks to anyone who has patiently waited. I expect I'll give away a good freebie via the newsletter with the first release I do in September, so now's the time to sign up!

Where The *Bleep* Is Maria?

I disappeared again, and I apologize for that. The simple truth is, a bunch of educational and financial worries got me down in a major way, just as it felt like depression was lightening. I can only say that in a few days, I will know for sure whether my life will be orderly, or thrown into a chaos of simultaneously having no money and no place to live. I obviously hope for the former rather than the latter, but I just don't know, right now. It has been impossible for me to focus, and the summer heatwave hasn't made this easier.

This isn't a very cheery post, and I apologize for that. I'll update on my situation when I can, (In a few days, to a week) and... Rest assured, those still following: There will be more stories published. More futanari for the people! I'm just not quite sure when it'll happen, for now.

Darknest: A Dark Fantasy Anthology

Amazon US | Smashwords | Kobo 

This is a bit of a milestone for me. I'm participating in my first multi-author bundle! All of the authors in this bundle come from the same little corner of the internet that I do. A site called Darknest. It started out as a hub of all things related to WoW erotica. Stories, art, screenshot manipulation, ads for people to find partners, but has since expanded into a bunch of other online games. It's a regular old community now, though WoW is still it's main thing.

In the many years since Darknest started, it has gone through multiple sets of owners and moderators, yet the community has endured and, for the most part, grown stronger and stronger. This bundle is a way for the participating authors to pay a little back to the place where most of them started posting their stories. As such, all profit (Until a certain limit that I don't expect we'll hit) generated from the bundle goes towards Darknest's upkeep.

The bundle contains one of my stories, A Different Prince Charming, and 6 other stories. There's even USA Today bestselling authors in there. I'm in fine company. Anyway, the shared theme is dark erotica, though the specifics vary. There are orcs, shifters, demons and more. I should note, as well, that the only Futa/F story in the bundle is mine. Just a heads up to my very loyal readers who prefer that particular niche.

If the bundle looks interesting to you, pick it up! It's cheap, and great value. Heck, even if you only want it for one of the stories in there, it's cheaper than getting that story on its own. And even if you don't want to spend the money, but think the bundle looks interesting, please consider sharing its launch with your friends. A good launch means everything for these sorts of bundles. :)

I'll be back this Sunday with this week's release, Lost In The Wilds.

One Year In

Purity Taken.

Exactly one year ago, I published my very first ebook, Purity Taken. Incidentally, this is also my 100th post on this blog. Anyway. I allowed myself lofty expectations that I knew were unrealistic, back then. I wrote an awful lot of drivel about writing on this very blog, when I really had little idea what I was doing, and certainly wasn't in a position where I should be advising anyone. Hell, I'm still not in a position now where you should listen to anything I say, really. Other than when I say I've published something new. You should listen to that.

I have learned a lot over this one year, and I know I will continue to learn more. About writing, about self-publishing, and about the ever-changing publishing business. I learned the value of non-shitty covers. (See below)

It feels as if I have been at this far longer than I really have, too. I'm not sure why. I know that it's not unusual to spend many years, decades even, for some writers, without being successful. I suppose I had the hope and dream that I would not be one of those waiting a decade.

I'm not so certain about that one anymore, mainly because I'm not sure what to qualify as success anymore. Making a living as a writer? I can do that right now, thanks to gradually increasing sales and a generous commissioner whom I appreciate very much. Am I successful simply for receiving payment for my work? Obviously I do that. I'm fairly sure Stephen King qualified anyone who got paid for their writing, whether once or multiple times, as a writer. I write what I love, and that's really what matters in the end, I guess. Not the amount of money on my bank account. So I suppose I am a success. I can still be more of a success, though.

The thing is, I have difficulty quantifying a goal. Originally, I wanted to make a living writing when I was

Aphrodax

thirty. Here I am, still 3 years away from that, and I'm making a living. What is the goal then? To make more? To write a bestseller? That's out of my control. All I can do is to keep writing and writing. In the end, I don't think there is a goal. Probably just the journey. Keep writing, keep publishing, keep improving, keep living off being an author.

With all that said, though, I love looking at my sales. I'm not sitting in an office handling someone else's crap, no offense to any manure dealers out there, I'm watching something I've crafted myself be bought and (I should hope) enjoyed. There's an entirely different feeling to that than working in an office. Which I did. It was what cemented in my mind that writing was what I had to do in life. But with this, I've had a direct hand in everything sold. I'm at a point where I think I understand the joy of creating more. And it took business to really push that into my mind. Other people are seeing my work and liking it. How awesome is that? Seriously. That's awesome. And Strange.

Of course, it doesn't get any less awesome when you see what has happened after I got my act together again in mid February and started the process that has now seen me release a story or bundle every week since the start of March. You can see the effect it had for yourself, right here:

That graph only counts sales as a number, too. A bundle is worth more than a short, obviously. But still only counts as 1 sale on that graph. As you can see, effort really does equal reward. I think I open that graph almost every day (Even if I only update it once a week) just to kick myself mentally at that long, 6-month break I had with publishing. Where could I have been today if I hadn't had that break? It's difficult to say. And it doesn't help anything to wonder. Still, it makes me a little sad and annoyed. It also makes me lucky, because I have read many authors out there who waited until they were well into their 40s, 50s or 60s with writing. They feel like they've wasted time, too. I'm not even 30.

What does the future hold that'll help me prevent such a 6-month breakdown from happening again? I can't say 100% for sure, of course, but I've already decided that I will keep this 1 short a week schedule up for at least a full year. By next March I should have 50+ works out there, and I should be able to make a real judgment of how I'm doing as an author by then. If I'm making a living (800-1000 sales/month minimum) or on my way to it, sweet. I'll probably keep the 1 story/week stuff up in that case. Probably until the end of 2015, anyway. I want to get into writing novels eventually. Not necessarily erotica novels, either. Fantasy. Under another pen name, of course.

I do know that if it turns out I can't live on writing then, I'll have to move to a place with lower living expenses. Writing is all I can do to live. Which is why I'm doing it. The "Don't write if you can do anything else" adage is probably really a reference to that. Writing for a living isn't "worth it" if you can do anything else. If you can be satisfied doing something else. Me, I can't.

Anyway, let me take stock a little. I've released over 20 stories so far, amounting to almost but not quite 2 a month over this last year. Really, though, I released 4 stories in the first 8 months and the remaining in the last 4. A few bundles and a lot of short stories. I feel like I'm beginning to get a little traction. And I feel like every month, every week's release, brings me a little closer to some immaterial dream of "making it" as an author.

I know I've abolished most of this touchy-feely crap on the blog for a while, now. I don't intend to change that. But since this is a special one-time post, I'll allow myself to delve into it just for a moment. I've had my problems. Everyone does. An up-and-down (No innuendo, now) depression since around the time I was 14, give or take a year. I'm 27 now, and it's still going. Especially now, these last few weeks, I've felt a real downturn. It's the reason I've been quiet. It's the reason why I didn't release anything last week. I don't think the depression will ever go away, though this episode will pass. I've accepted that, in a way, even as I work daily to improve my state of mind and my life. And writing, well, it's cathartic. It's the real reason I do this. It keeps me sane in a way that working in an office never could.

So I guess I want to round this post off by saying that.. I might be in a little trouble right now, but don't worry. I will come back. Writing is what I want and have to do. It's the only thing I -can- do.

I hope to be writing a similar post to you again in another year.

Review & Freebie via Newsletter

Aphrodax got reviewed over at Sylvia Storm's blog. It's also the story you get for free if you sign up for my newsletter! And hey, if you just want the story for free but don't want to hear from me weekly, you could just sign up and unsubscribe immediately? I promise, I won't mind. It's more important that you get to read the story if you like.

Freebie! (Pleasure Park 6)

So. Pleasure Park 6. The Virtual Me serial. This storyline/serial, despite (in my humble opinion) being quite well-written, just isn't taking off the way I'd hoped. I'm trying to rectify that now by offering the first part for free.

So basically, I've made it free in an effort to get some oomph into the series. If that doesn't help, I'll have to end it prematurely. For now, it's simply relegated to a "write when I can" production slot. In effect this won't mean anything for now. It simply means that -if- I have to cut something in a given month, the installment of Virtual Me will be the first to go. I haven't yet had a month where I've had to cut anything, though.

You can click on the picture to the left to be taken to the book's page, and from there find links to your preferred retailer who will offer the work for free.

Freebie! (A Different Prince Charming)

From now until Sunday, A Different Prince Charming will be free on Smashwords with the code below. You know those occasional free things I promise in the back of my books? This is one of those. It's also a tiny celebration that I haven't had a 0-sale day for a full month!

If you've already bought A Different Prince Charming, don't despair. I will continue to offer the occasional free book on this blog. Check back another Wednesday!

Book: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/349233
Code: RW98N